


Dietetic

by plsnskanks (orphan_account)



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, M/M, maid outfit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-12-07 18:33:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11629434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/plsnskanks
Summary: Edd and Eduardo have running competition between them. Loser does what the other wants for a day. Edd is usually the loser.Keyword: Usually





	Dietetic

It gets out of hand pretty quickly. Edd doesn’t mean for it to. He honestly tries to be a good guy about it. To be a good sport.

He knows Eduardo has some superiority complex, targeted at him for god knows what reason. So he tries to humor the guy

That’s how the games start. At least, that’s what Edd sees them as. Eduardo, no doubt, takes them psychotically serious.

Really. The guy has this little vein that comes out only when he is doing one of these competitions. Edd even nicknamed it little Eddie. 

Little Eddie is out in full force right now. That’s because Eduardo has done something that he has never done before. At least, not during their games.

He lost.

You see, Edd always purposefully lost. Just to sooth the savage beast that was Eduardo. And because Mark paid him twenty bucks to make sure their house stayed quiet. Edd had always made good on that promise.

Little Eddie and Eduardo win and that means the loser does what the winner says for a day.

So Edd cleans the neighbor’s yard a lot, clears the gutters, sweeps the porch. Easy stuff. Always pretty easy. He just lets Eduardo win and makes it look like a close call.

Up until Eduardo insulted his pride, his joy, his cola.

Their longest and deepest feud had started right off the bat when Edd moved in. Misplaced cola shipments, getting delivered to the wrong house and then getting put on the curb with Thursday’s trash. Eduardo had apparently taken that as a massive slight rather than the honest bumble that it was.

So Eduardo sets the terms for the fatal match. Whoever can stomach the others taste in poison the longest, wins. It got a little heated, Edd was thinking only about his lucky can, how much it has done for him, and how he would be a massive disappointment to the cola gods if he didn’t win this.

Ten minutes later a bored looking Tom and a nervous Jon (one member from each house was required to judge) declared Edd the winner as Eduardo threw up and muttered something about type two.

So Edd has a favor. From Eduardo. Which is kinda cool. Or not really. He doesn’t want it. So he half-jokingly gives it to Tord when Tord asks about it. Even writes a little certificate for it on a napkin.

The same certificate a now flushed and flustered Eduardo is holding as he stands at Edd’s door in a skimpy maid outfit with, wow those are thigh highs, they really do go up.

Edd is in rut when this happens. And no one is home, excepting Tord, and since bro code is bro code, he is in his room diligently ignoring Edd in his time of discomfort and generally avoiding being a nuisance. 

Apparently, with the exception of what is now currently on his doorstep.

“Why?” Edd asks, putting a hand to his damp forehead. His hair is clinging to his skin on all sides of his face and he is about ready to either slam the door or nail Eduardo to it if the guy doesn’t get a clue.

Eduardo thrusts the napkin into Edd’s hands and Edd squints at it. He isn’t sure whether he wants to strangle or kiss Tord, but on second thought it’s definitely not the latter.

“Eduardo go home, I’m in, y’know.”

Eduardo crosses his arms grumpily. “I am trying to get this over with loser, give me a chore so I can do it and go home. Then you can do whatever.”

“How about no. Stay out of the house, Matt and Tom cleared out of here for a reason,” Edd says, and he goes to close the door. Only for one sneakered shoe to keep it open.

Here’s the thing about Eduardo. He’s an omega right? But he is also a guy that very much likes to be on top, a winner. So he’s got the kind of muscle that could fool any beta not paying attention to scent, and the kind of strength that would give even the average alpha a run for his money.

Edd finds himself quickly losing ground and then there he is. Eduardo is in his house. Probably the only omega that could beat the shit out of him and he’s in Edd’s house while Edd is most prone to doing something worthy of getting the shit beat out of him.

Great.

Has he mentioned how much he loves his neighbors?

“Okay, you smell, I am regretting this.”

“You aren’t the only one,” Edd sighs. “Look can you like, go sweep the kitchen and then leave?”

He waits for Eduardo to say something, looking off idly into the living room. When he returns his gaze to Eduardo, he sees Eduardo’s stare is somewhere… south. Edd for the first time notices the massive tent in his pants. He feels his face heat up.

“Are you sure that’s what you need help with?” Eduardo asks, cocking an eyebrow. Edd’s face gets even hotter, if possible.

“Eduardo-,” he begins. Then halts as he sees the omega take a step forward. Edd takes a step back. Eduardo takes another step. And so on and so on until Edd runs out of steps back to take because he is flat up against the wall and now Eduardo is flat up against him and Edd is letting out a shuddery exhalation.

“You say I’m the stubborn one?” Eduardo chuckles and wow, is it always going to be so off putting to see Eduardo emote a positive emotion?

Edd would wonder on this topic further but Eduardo’s hand is on his crotch and Edd’s head and slamming back roughly and that’s how he brains himself against the wall while his off again on again neighbor with benefits palms the front of his pants while dressed in women’s garments.

Hello Marianas? We’ve found a new low point.

Eduardo sighs loudly. “You want to do that on the couch where you won’t lose more brain cells?”

Edd nods dumbly and doesn’t move until Eduardo actually tugs him impatiently off the wall. He leads him over to the couch and finally shoves Edd onto it in exasperation after the alpha just stands there looking at it like an oaf for a few minutes.

Then Eduardo crawls on top of him and his hand is back on his crotch and Edd can’t help but slide his hands under Eduardo’s dress to feel and grope at the curve of his ass. No complaint is heard from Eduardo, surprisingly.

Edd had all this pent up aggression locking him up moments before but Eduardo’s scent and is hands moving like that, Edd feels himself melting against the couch, bring Eduardo down closer to him.

Only to have Eduardo shove him away. Edd looks at him in confusion, but is given nothing but a nice view of his neighbor’s ass as two legs are spread on either side of him and the zipper to Edd’s pants are being pulled down and yup.

That’s Eduardo’s mouth, sucking on his cock. Edd enjoys it for a bit, enjoys the way Eduardo hums from   
time to time, the way he laves his tongue. Then Edd gets the idea he should maybe pay it back a little. So he goes to pull down Eduardo’s underwear.

He goes to, but he gets a hard slap on his wrist that has him drawing back lightning fast as Eduardo pops off. 

“Who’s the one who owes a favor here?” 

Edd raises his hands in a sign of submission. Eduardo nods. He goes back to sucking and it does feel   
good. But also, it’s working Edd up to a far off payoff. Edd doesn’t really want to be in Eduardo’s mouth anymore.

He wants to be somewhere else. But he isn’t sure how to communicate that in a way that won’t get him a bitch slap.

So he lets Eduardo continue. And Eduardo goes. He isn’t sure for how long but eventually he pops off to   
see Edd leaning against the couch, hand over his eyes, small grunts coming from him, looking flushed and almost in pain.

“Hey, loser!” Eduardo barks, and Edd is jolting up, “Did you really just have me suck until my jaw was sore even though you didn’t enjoy a bit of it?”

Edd at least has the sense to look sheepish. Eduardo rolls his eyes and rolls down his panties. Then his hand is digging into some part of the maid outfit and coming out with a bottle of lube.

“Wha-,” Edd starts.

“Your dickhead friend put it in here last night, and judging by the look on your face, you didn’t know about any of this did you?”

Edd looks at Eduardo slack-jawed.

“I didn’t….”

Eduardo mutters something to himself, “No of course not, because you’re just an all-around swell guy aren’t you?” Edd stares at him blankly.

Eduardo huffs, “You alphas say we get fuck fever, maybe you all should take a look in the mirror.”

Edd just continues to stare, and only moves his gaze when Eduardo’s fingers move to push into his own entrance. Then he’s got one sole focus. Eduardo fingers himself, occasionally pulling out to apply a more generous coat of lube.

When he is satisfied puts more lube on his palm and starts to slick Edd down. Edd closes his eyes and lets out a guttural moan and maybe Eduardo should feel a little smug he has the guy melting at his fingertips. Instead he finds it kinda cute and pretty hot.

Edd is a good looking guy, Eduardo forgets that because is so busy being frustrated at Edd’s chaotic behavior and him being a general ass with his friends. You know, when he isn’t fighting some undead version of santa, dragging demons into other people’s homes, or putting his cola shipments on the curb. Edd’s an okay guy.

But here with his eyes shut, biting his lip a little, looking past ready to do something, it’s a little easier to remember that. Eduardo sucks in a steadying breath and positions himself over Edd. He sinks down and okay.

This might be a bit more than he bargained for. Eduardo is struggling to get his bearings and seat himself all the way down when he feels big hands come up press on his waist.

Eduardo winces and tenses in anticipation starts to say, “Wait you ass” but makes it about halfway through before he realizes. It’s okay. It’s fine. Edd was just adding some gentle guidance. The rest is for him to decide.

Eduardo works himself through it and when he is ready he starts to ride. Giddyup. And it’s pretty enjoyable, and yeah, there’s that smug satisfaction rearing its head for real. Because Edd is under him and for the first time since Eduardo saw him this afternoon, he’s stop looking so pinched, so frustrated.

Right now with his mouth open and the little noises he is making, Edd looks like he is having a pretty good time. Eduardo smooths back the damp hair from Edd’s head and thinks briefly about how he should style it every once in a while, it looks good that way.

Edd is a pretty dead lay for the first part of it. Eduardo isn’t sure what’s going on, but he tells himself its part of his service from today’s bet and tries to push down any genuine annoyance rising up. Then he starts to slow down and get a bit tired after a while, because you know, alphas in rut can be anything from trigger happy to border line incontinent and it seems like Edd is leaning towards the latter.

As he is trying to get himself up one more time and struggling to complete the task, he feels a small tap on his thigh. He looks up to see Edd looking out of it, but managing to stare him down intently nonetheless.

“Hey, can we, switch this?”

Eduardo would kind of like to argue and stay on top, but his muscles are aching in a way that foretells badly for tomorrow and he can already see the eye roll Mark is going to give, so he nods and works with Edd as he maneuvers them so it is him on top.

“You ready?” Edd asks and his lips are just inches away, Eduardo is staring at them, mesmerized, until Edd asks the question again, this time more impatiently and with a little prod of his dick at Eduardo’s entrance.

“Yeah, yeah, go ahead,” Eduardo mumbles. At once Edd is sinking down into his shoulder, inhaling his scent as he pushes in and this time it’s easier to take Edd’s dick. For all of a few thrusts. Then it gets a lot harder because there’s a knot.

“Okay, okay,” Eduardo wheezes, slapping on Edd’s shoulder. Edd gets the memo to slow down and Eduardo just, lies back and tries to deal with the stretch. It’s a lot easier in heat, and he let himself get so overzealous that he forgot that. 

Edd listens. Or he tries to. His thrusts are still a little rough, and each one still makes Eduardo grunt and wince a little. But the knot is going in and nothing’s bleeding and the way Edd is kissing at him and stroking his dick is maybe taking his mind off all this.

Until it pops in locks in and starts to swell. Then Eduardo’s mind is brought straight back to Edd’s dick and wow does that guy have a nice dick. That is a thought that lives and dies in Eduardo’s head, but it’s true.

Eduardo forgets he is even wearing a dress until Edd is trying to find a way to take it off. Finally he grunts in frustration

“Can I just rip this?” 

“It’s you shitty friend’s, not mine, I don’t care,” Eduardo says before letting out a groan as Edd shifts a little inside him. With a shrug, Edd is ripping the seams and that allows him access to Eduardo’s chest and more of his collar bone. Which Edd happily delights in.

Eduardo isn’t going to complain. Tomorrow, when his housemates can see all his hickies and his pathetic little crotch walk, then he’ll complain. For now, he’s going to moan and let Edd play him like a fiddle.

Edd stops all movement and stills and Eduardo is going to ask what gives but then he feels it, the warm rush as Edd comes and there he is, slumping against Eduardo being a dead lay again, right as Eduardo was probably about to get somewhere.

He thumps Edd on the back and Edd just grunts.

“Okay asshole, can you do something other than the dead man’s float,” Eduardo snaps. Then he thumps Edd on the back again. And again. But not the fourth time, because as he is raising his hand to do it again, Edd looks up with a glare that....

Eduardo doesn’t think he’s ever seen Edd angry, but he’s pretty sure that this, right now, is something he should avoid in the future. A hand is coming over his mouth and he is trying not to think of all the other things that hand has touched today.

Eduardo is pressed deeper into the couch and Edd pulls out of him to grind on his crotch roughly. Edd leans in close to Eduardo’s ear and rumbles, “You better hope I don’t get hard again, otherwise we go again.”

And he isn’t sure whether it’s more arousal or genuine fear that motivates him, either way, Eduardo cums across his stomach.

Edd rolls off him, removing his hand and sitting on the edge of the couch panting hard. He looks at Eduardo.

“Do you want like… actual clothes?”

Eduaro looks down at the maids dress, now ripped and stained with bodily fluids. He closes his eyes and sighs heavily.

“Yeah, yeah, that would probably be good.”

Edd disappears and comes back with a pair of pants and a grey shirt. “Just give it back sometime before next week. And you can throw that,” he gestures to his whole getup, “In the trash. Trust me, if I know Tord, he has backups.”

“You know the people you choose to associate with are pretty unflattering,” Eduardo says as he takes the clothes.

“Yeah well, you’re one of them, so what does that say about you,” Edd says tiredly. Eduardo clams it and stalks off to the nearest bathroom in a huff. He changes and throws the maid’s dress in their trash on the way out. He gets a lackluster wave from Edd who looks like he’s going to fall asleep in the wet spot they made on the couch.

Lovely.

Eduardo makes it back home and when Mark wordlessly quirks an eyebrow he he waves him off and goes upstairs. He doesn’t want to play gossip girl or twenty questions, or whatever. He wants to sit in his shitty room and think about what choices he keeps making to get in these kind of situations.

He puzzles about it for a while before giving up and coming down to shoot the shit with Jon and Mark about the day’s events. He tries to ignore the fact that the next day, the maid’s dress he left on the neighbor’s garbage can is gone.

**Author's Note:**

> blah blah bug me @ plsnskanks.tumblr.com


End file.
